They said, I like to be angry. I like giving it to people, I don't want others to manage situations for me. I responded can you afford the cost of that much anger?
The cost of anger is outrageous. It is physical, spiritually, emotionally and mentally expensive. Not to mention the secondary costs, the costs associated with losing friends, family, and employment.
One way to think about anger is that you're drinking poison and hopeing someone else will die. It never works that way. It seems like the angrier we get, the more we take it out on others the more they'll do what we want, right? NOPE. The angrier we get, the less likely it is that anyone will do anything that we want. It's important to notice when we're not being successful. Anger, has this cyclical thing....you get mad, they get mad back, now you're both mad and yelling noone wins; or you get angry, they get silent, or frozen, or they want to act as if everything is fine. Well, that sounds like a amygdala hijack if I've ever heard one.
If you want to live a trauma responsive life then your job is to calm others down not incite a crisis in their brains. I guess, that's the question....do you want to be a trauma responsive human or someone who doesn't mind hurting others?
If you're reading this, then I'm sure you aren't actually interested in hurting anyone. The cost of anger is huge on you, your organs, your mind, and your ability to be present. It is also expensive for others. Their trust, their peace, their thoughts, their sense of safety. So, when the cost is too high we walk off the lot and tell the dealer, no thank you.
It's ok for you to say no thank you to your anger dealer. That part of your brain and essence are not required for functioning. You can send that care salesman away. When the anger comes you have choices:
Walk away and walk until you feel better.
Say ok thank you, to whomever is there and go have a dance party.
Push ups, jumping jacks.
Acknowledge the anger and invite it in to your space, make an offering that is the oposite to you...ex., anger meet joy. Then act out of joy.
I guess what I'm getting at is that the cost is way to high and not worth it. We have to act different to think different.
In gratitude,
Tiffany
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